A revelation and the pursuit of happiness.

As I sit here this morning at my job I began to explore my mind to find out what truly makes me unhappy and why.  I found myself dictating my whole routine in hopes to examine myself as an outsider attempting to look in.  What I found was honestly a bit depressing.  I lead a very inactive lifestyle and by that I am not referring to exercise alone.  I lost touch with what I believe to be my own humanity.  I’ve always had a very fierce passion for life and I view it as the greatest gift I’ve ever received. I look at what it has to offer but more times than not I find myself playing the proverbial “waiting game.”  My view on life is that it must be put on hold until I am wildly rich and able to go wherever I want and do whatever I want, and what I want to do is experience different cultures and help people on a personal level, not just by throwing money or resources at them.  

I like the idea of living an altruistic life but at the same time I know that everyone does need to make some time for themselves as well.  Reflecting on yourself and your actions is instrumental in making others happy, but if you yourself are not happy then there is no way you can ever make others happy.  

We live in such a fast paced environment now.  It’s changing and some of it is changing for the good but some of it is changing for the bad.  We need to reintegrate the social aspect of social media.  Everyday we are all so involved with our phones, computers, game systems, and television that we never have time to examine who we are.  I ask you, when is the last time you just sat in a place and just freed your mind to the vast possibilities your life holds?  When is the last time you were able to just sit and reflect on yourself and how your actions may affect other peoples lives?  In this day in age it is far too easy to just simply write a person off.  We all still have emotions and we feel it when someone decides you are not good enough for them on a social level anymore.  Our lives are interconnected at the blink of an eye and that is taken for granted.  The power we all hold to reach millions with our words and actions is quite staggering.  That power has taken the interaction portion out of the equation.  This is ever so present in my life.  Most of my friends live all over the world due to our chosen career.  I find that I can say whatever I feel on the internet but when it comes to real life human interaction I find myself being shy and stammering my words as I speak.  How is speaking in real life any different than speaking on the internet?  We are still getting through to people so why is it becoming more and more awkward to be around other people physically?  

I want to start changing my life today.  I want to physically and mentally see the meaning of life manifested by my own actions from now on.  It will be hard and I know I will fail along the way but hey, I’m still a human right?  :)

The Hunger Games: A look back into our own eyes.


Let me start by saying that this movie is fantastic.  I am reading some reviews that mention that this is ‘unrealistic’ and is a terrible depiction of a dystopian future.  The word dystopia is defined as a community or society that is in some important way undesirable or frightening.  The opposite of utopia.  I think by definition alone this movie depicts the EXACT meaning of a dystopian future.  

    The minds of the people running the capitol are so gone and warped that they deem these games entertainment.  They don’t know any better.  Since this is the 74h games, everyone partaking and controlling the games are grandchildren and great grandchildren of it’s creators.  They have been detached and do not know the true meaning of the hunger games, they lack the honor that used to go into them.  Is that any different than what is going on today in our own society?  Our world is controlled by kids who inherited money, corporations, power, etc.  They’ve never had to work for it a day in their lives, they grew up in an environment that was a total utopia and they don’t understand the meaning of having to work hard and make sacrifices to survive.  They’ve always had it all.  Yes, kids kill each other in this movie, and sometimes it is truly brutal and quite disheartening.  Every “tribute” in this movie knows how these games work, and what it means to be a part of them.  I read reviews stating that in a real world, these individuals would have bound together to fight back against the fascists forcing them to partake.  That is simply not true.  The Hunger Games, being the 74th annual games at this point, have already been designed and carried out with precision 73 times prior.  These kids knew what they were in for so survival of the fittest was the only option.  Some of them did ally together but in the end it was always going to be the last person standing.

    That is what The Hunger Games is all about.  The movie shows a far off version of this already dystopian society that we live in today, it’s a hyperdriven version.  This movie is about the compassion and respect we all lack in our day to day lives.  A scene that can truly depict this is when Katniss is hunting the deer, she says, ‘I haven’t seen a deer in over a year.’  This means that even deer at this point have become so scarce that they’re almost impossible to find.  The worst part is, she tries to kill it anyways.  What does that mean?  It means even she has a mind that has been altered into thinking that the destruction of the world around us is ok.  It is not until she is chosen for the games that her feelings begin to change.  The first sign of this is when she finds herself appreciating a butterfly as it lands on her finger and slowly flutters away, for the first time, Katniss have discovered beauty in something most of us would perceive as meaningless.

    Our society has such a huge percentage of people that are simply looking out for number one, themselves.  That isn’t always a bad thing but if we lived in a world where we all would perform two or three good deeds throughout the day our predicaments would improve vastly.  Katniss is a symbol of hope, a glimmer of the love that so many of us desire today.  In the end she has become, even if only for a moment, totally selfless in her pursuit of survival.  She was prepared to die to make a difference in the way people in that world think.  In the final moments of the games, her act did just that.  Her and Peta were both spared after being lied to after all.  Katniss unknowingly succeeded in altering the minds of the brainwashed controlling the show.  She made a real difference and I think that is what matters the most.  Let the rebellion begin!

    Some people may think I am crazy but I really enjoyed this film.   I wasn’t so crazy about the whole Wizard of Oz type wardrobe but honestly, my perceived meaning of the first in the three part series was far more important.  It made me really think about things in a different way.  It allowed me to analyze myself and it brings me closer to the answers I seek in life, the most important being; Who am I?

The Green Hornet

After hearing Seth Rogen’s opening statement for Alzheimer’s research tonight I decided I wanted to watch one of his movies.  I ended up landing on The Green Hornet.  I’m not really sure why everyone hates so hard on it.  I enjoyed it.  I was reading the complaints about it and one thing I kept coming across was the fact that there was no real romance in the movie.  Why does that even matter?  Do superhero movies require romance as well?  Not really.  I don’t have any prior knowledge of The Green Hornet, I never knew what it was until this movie was released.  My like of this film may be due in part of that fact.  I loved the action in the film and the plot was interesting to me.  The fact that The Green Hornet wants to be looked at like a total criminal when in reality he and his sidekick are heroes is such a new and awesome take on a superhero in my opinion.  This movie was missing everything that comes with a standard comic to movie/superhero flick, and that’s what makes it brilliant.  
    You keep expecting Britt to start training and become a fighting master like his counterpart but it never comes, you also expect him to completely change his demeanor and eventually get the girl but that fails to happen as well.  It held up well in it’s grittiness to me.  It was everything a superhero movie isn’t and that is so kick ass.  So what if the building of the cars and the tech used isn’t ‘realistic’ to people’s standards.  After all, it is a movie!  Use your imaginations!  
    My only complaint is that I didn’t get to know the characters enough, I feel that way about a lot of movies I watch though.  I always want more back story with more intimate connections with people, it makes things more personal while watching.  

All in all though I actually really liked that movie and it’s a shame we won’t be seeing a sequel due to the sheer volume of hate surrounding the movie.  I would be all in for a sequel, on the bright side, they could always get a new director if they ever decided to go for it!

Ender’s Game - Wow

Okay so let me start by saying that I have never read the books.  I know the books are fantastic and I have been wanting to read them for quite a long time but have never got around to it.  The movie made me feel as if they tried to cram too much information into a short time however it still had a very profound effect on me.  The relationships in this movie always felt very special but I still feel as if they weren’t focused on nearly enough, they felt rushed.  When I began to reach the end of the film I kept wondering when they were going to go into a real battle, then that curve ball smashed me in the face.  When I watch movies I let myself be completely absorbed into them, as if I were right there with the main characters.  There are so many conclusions that can be drawn in this movie.  Was it an act of revenge?  Did it truly prevent the all out annihilation of the human race?  Is something known by Ender’s superiors that isn’t being disclosed other than the total genocide of an entire species?  Was an enemy offensive planned?  I know there are 13 books and with the final scenes of the film I would guess it was mainly built on revenge, but now I want more, I want to be immersed in this universe. 
    Finding out about the full genocide of an entire species was quite surprising and sort of left me with this deep dark feeling inside, wondering what it would be like if, or rather when, the human race will be completely erased from existence.  Let’s face it, one day the sun will die and will literally grow large enough to just eat our planet, leaving nothing behind but the energy that had been expended and dispersed over the millions or at that time billions of years we have existed.  Energy cannot be created nor destroyed but it can be altered.  Which also leads me to ponder, how many civilizations and species are we made of?  That is such a profound thought in my opinion.  To me, the eradication of earth by natural causes is probably the most romantically poetic thing that will ever happen to the place we all call home  In this day in age if I were able to witness that from a safe watching place, much like in Doctor Who, I would sit back, put my noise cancelling headphones in, and play exogenesis: symphony parts 1,2, and 3 by Muse on repeat until the earth ceased to exist.  It would be such a beautiful goodbye full of sadness, happiness, and memories. 
    With that said it doesn’t necessarily mean it will be the end of the human race.  We are making steps currently to commercialize space travel but I feel as if it isn’t going fast enough.  You would think with the humans desire to explore and conquer we would be taking steps to push the final frontier.  Maybe it’s just me but I would like to think that this day in age we could all see past the indifference of nations to bind together as one.  I am not an American.  I am a human and I reside on planet earth.  I am in love with the past, history is something in which we all have learned from, envied, and missed at some point in our lives.  We can learn a great deal from history but sometimes I wish I could have been born about 10,000 years in the future.  Just to be able to get a glimpse of where we go. 
    Life is beautiful.  So many people take life for granted and can’t see past things that they, for some reason or another, see as real problems.  Having to press 1 on your phone for English when calling a support line is not a real problem, controlling oil is not a real problem, religious radicalization leading to war and death isn’t even a real problem.  It’s all so fickle.  So why do we as humans create expensive campaigns against these types of stupid problems that cause us to lose focus on what is important?  Why do we have such narrow minds?  I don’t think that way nor do I worry about these types of problems.  Sometimes I feel as if I am the only one.  Maybe I am just growing up and I am the only one around to see it so I assume I’m different.  Money is the source of so many problems throughout our world that it’s sickening.  I have basically been forced into the lower middle class by everyone around me telling me what to do and how to be a part of society.  If I could have reversed this at a younger age perhaps my thought process would have evolved sooner.  Let’s face it though, when we are all kids we aren’t thinking profoundly and I am okay with that.  Innocence is a key attribute in the human psyche and without it we would never grow into people who express emotions through action, reaction, and physicality.  I love being a human.  I want to explore our own planet but the thought of being an outer space explorer is so exciting to me. 
    Until we can solve the indifference of nations, of man, and within ourselves we seem to be on our way to an untimely demise, which is in tune with the other things I talked about and to me, would be so poetically and romantically beautiful as well.  If we destroy ourselves it would be met with an infinite amount of sadness crashing against an infinite amount of beauty.  All we need to do to prevent that is realize that we all are allowed to think in any way we want, believe in whatever we want, and go wherever we want without consequence.  If we were to leave this planet on giant interstellar cruise ships but Christians, or Muslims, or Buddhists or some other religion decided to stay, who’s to say they can’t?  That’s the beauty of life.  It’s been given to us so that we all can use it as a conduit to our souls, so that we may follow them wherever we decide.  Life is true freedom.  Live it exactly the way you want to and don’t ever try to stop someone from doing what they want to do.  Give generously and help each other as often as you can.

So, I understand that this can be a touchy subject but I’m going to go ahead and share my findings anyways.
    I’ve had a fascination with what they call the “deep web” for quite some time despite the fact that I have never actually surfed this entity.  I found out about it sometime in the last two years from a friend of mine who said it was crazy.  I was surfing youtube last night and came across this video uploaded by a user called GEEKBLOGTV and it was a 30 minute long guide/informational video that explored what the deep web was and ways to access it.  The video didn’t really scare me so much and I found it to be quite interesting as the guy talked about various clients that can be used to access the deep web and how to use them.  He sort of disclosed the entire experience letting people know that there are some dark things down there that you probably do not want to see.
    It wasn’t until I began scrolling that I started realizing something…  I DO NOT NOR WILL I EVER SURF THIS PLACE.  I read through numerous comments and replies and found out some pretty horrendous things.  My desire to find out what it was and what it displayed pretty much stopped there.  It is to my understanding that the deep web is heavily monitored by governments and various agencies trying to track down criminals and more than 75% of it has been shut down as of late.  Apparently the deep web was very popular earlier in the 2000s and has since evolved and been exposed a great deal.  The idea of it is complete anonymity.  It’s pretty sickening but the people who flocked there went for the big no-no’s like child porn, necrophilia, drugs, and weapons.
    I just don’t understand how anyone could possibly even try to participate in any activity like that.  There is always a way to be tracked down so why bother?  From the information I gathered it really comes down to the fact that you have a little bit less of a chance of being caught, but the reality is, you can be and will be caught partaking in the illegal activities down there.  One particular community in the deep web has recently been exposed and the person running it was arrested and tried in court.  This marketplace was known as “Silk Road.”  The site had gone back up but two more people were arrested for bringing it back to it’s active status.  So far the black marketplace is still down to my knowledge.
    Whew!  That was a ramble.
    The point I am trying to make is I find that the idea of surfing a place like that can be sort of exciting but more than anything it’s terrifying.  This is something that so many people in so many places are totally oblivious to.  It is currently being cracked down on but to me, it’s still scary.  It makes you wonder, maybe that’s why governments are trying to regulate the web?  I enjoy the freedom of the internet but when you think about it, anyone can pretend to be whatever they want even in the public web.  Why not just be a legitimate online earner with a real identity?  Things like this coincide with gun laws, surveillance, the judicial system, etc.  The world has evolved, times have changed and technology rules everything.  The internet is a frontier than people are exploring the limits of so it’s only natural that the powers of our planet try to regulate it.  Everyone has a device in their pocket that contains all information that has ever been known to mankind and we can contact anyone in the world at any time.  One thing I do not agree with is the way the attempt is going.  Freeing up the entertainment industry and digitizing it will revolutionize the way the world can discover new artists, engineers, and innovators.  I don’t understand why people from generation x can’t seem to grasp that either giving something away and asking for donations or selling things for a very small fee is extremely beneficial for the person developing whatever it is they are selling.  Look at the statistics of Origin’s “humble bundle”  video game sales.  It skyrockets into the millions in a matter of a few days.  When you can reach a wider audience by letting them pick their own price for something, your profit will be infinitely higher.  The same goes for music, movies, and books.  We should all bind together to make the online world and online marketplaces better whilst building bigger restrictions on web based criminal activity.

Other sources to my thoughts this morning: